This will be our last article for our caregiver series highlighting National Caregiver’s Month. Last week, we discussed the importance of self-care and the importance of taking breaks.  This week we are focusing on ways you, as a caregiver, can get a break from caregiving. 

Often as caregivers, it is difficult to find time for yourself, time for self-care, or even time to think. Respite care can provide you time to focus on yourself or time to get other daily tasks done. Respite care is planned or emergency care provided to caregivers for short-term or time-limited breaks from daily caregiving tasks. Often as caregivers, we are guilty of feeling we need to do it all ourselves. Part of practicing self-care is taking breaks. Respite can provide the caregiver with time to rest and recharge and take a break with peace of mind knowing that someone is caring for your loved one. If you are still working, it allows you to take care of your responsibilities at work.  It will allow you time to socialize with others or time to do something for yourself. Different types of respite is not only good for the caregiver but also can have a positive outcome for your loved one as well.

Often, I hear caregivers feel they are hiring a babysitter or the care recipient may feel they are being babysat.  Try to reframe the respite with a way to provide your loved one with opportunities for new stimulation, a change of scenery, to socialize with friends or meet new people, or to do an activity they enjoy. It can be a win-win for both the caregiver and the care receiver. The caregiver may feel refreshed and recharged, and the care receiver’s mood is improved from doing something they enjoy with a friend.

Respite care can be provided for a few hours several days a week to several weeks at a time.  It is dependent on the type of help that you feel will work best for your situation. Before asking for help, whether it be from family and friends or a professional agency, think about the type of help that would be most beneficial.  Make a list of caregiving tasks you perform such as bathing, laundry, managing medical appointments, financial management, etc. Then decide what tasks you are able to handle and which ones you for which you need help. This may also help you determine who or where to ask for assistance.

Caregiver services that may be available may include home care services, adult day centers, home delivered meals, respite care through a care facility, transportation services, volunteer programs, and skilled nursing. Many local services are available in your area, and we have included where to find a list of resources at the end of this article. If you are assisting with care for a loved one from long distance, consider contacting the local senior center, county information and referral services, family services or hospital social work for suggestions. Also, the local area agency on aging will have resources of what is available in their area. 

Personal care services are available through home agencies locally. This is where a professional caregiver comes to your home to assist with personal care such as dressing, bathing, feeding, toileting, meal prep, companionship, housekeeping, laundry, meals, etc. Many agencies can provide this help from a few hours up to 24 hours a day. They will work with you to determine how often you would like to receive these services whether it be once a month, once a week, or seven days a week.  It is generally best to have a set schedule when you know caregivers will be coming. This will help you to schedule times when you need to be away.  Many of these agencies can also provide a caregiver to stay for several days or weeks or assist with 24 hour caregiving. Most agencies offer an hourly rate or may charge by the day.  Start with once a week for a few hours to allow you some “me” time. Then gradually increase as needed.  This will help you and the care receiver to adjust to having someone new in the home.

Home Health Care services also can be provided at home by trained professionals such as physical, speech or occupational therapists, social workers, or home health nurses. Insurance coverage may be available after a hospitalization. Check with their insurance company to see what type of coverage may be available. Usually, insurance will only cover these types of services for a short period of time after hospitalization. However, many agencies may provide this service through private pay options. 

Adult Day Services is a place where the care recipient can go and spend part of the day or a full day at their center. Many of these centers may provide activities the care recipient will enjoy as well as an opportunity to socialize with others.  They may also provide supervision, personal care needs, medication administration, and other wellness tasks. This a great way to have several hours to yourself to run errands, go to your medical appointments, get your hair done, and other self-care tasks. However, in our area, adult day services are limited. Many of these services may be available at assisted living or long term care facilities. 

Many assisted living or long-term care facilities may also offer respite care within their facility. This may allow you time to take a break from your caregiving role for a week to several weeks at a time. Your loved one will have a chance to meet new people and experience different activities. It also gives you and your loved one a chance to try out different facilities in case permanent placement is needed in the future. 

Volunteer support may be available in your area. Some agencies may have volunteers to assist you with certain caregiving tasks, such as companionship, yard work, or rides to the doctor. Contact volunteer agencies in your area or other organizations in the area to inquire about volunteer assistance.

Caregivers may also be reluctant to ask for help as they don’t want to burden other friends or family. Let’s face it, it’s difficult to ask for help. Oftentimes, our friends and family would like to help but are unsure how to help. One way to ask friends or family for help is to set up a family meeting or a meeting one-on-one to talk with them and share that there are ways they can help you.  Give them a copy of the list of caregiving needs you have.  Point out what skills they have that could be helpful.  Maybe you have a family member who is good at finances and may be willing to help you manage these tasks. A friend may enjoy playing the same type of card game your loved one plays and can come over and play cards while you run to the store. Ask them to look at the list and ask if they are able to help. If so, ask them to select a task. Make sure they understand what would be most helpful for you as well as the care receiver.

Another idea is to create a calendar of times you need to get away. List medical appointments, events you’d like to attend, time to get a manicure, or go shopping. Ask family members or friends to sign up for a time they are available to come spend time with the care recipient. 

Other places you can turn to for help may include your church, caregiver support groups, therapist or counselor and national caregiver organizations. Your church or other organizations you or your loved one belongs to may have members that are willing to assist. These organizations may also have resources to contact that can provide caregiver support. Contact organizations that are specific to your loved one’s illness or disability. 

If your loved one receives Medicaid, talk to his or her Medicaid case worker. Medicaid may pay for a certain number of hours per week for home care, adult day, or other respite services. 

Some home care agencies or other respite services may be able to provide services on a sliding fee scale based on income. Some organizations may have grant money to assist with the financial cost. You may also consider asking family to help pay for caregiving services. 

Caregiver support groups is another type of respite. It gives you a chance to share with others the burden of caregiving. Sharing your story and your feelings with others who understand is a great way to relieve caregiver stress. There are many local options for support groups in our area. If it’s difficult to get away, many caregiver support groups are available online. If possible, find a support group that provides an activity and oversight for the care receiver at the same time as the support group. If the first support group you try isn’t a good fit, don’t be afraid to try another one. Other groups will have different facilitators or different attendees that may help you feel more comfortable. We have shared several quotes from caregivers about their experiences caring for someone as well as benefits they’ve received by attending support groups. 

We have put together a resource guide that includes respite care options for caregivers. It has been added to the Meadowlark Hills website at meadowlark.org. It can be found by clicking on the Resource Library and then clicking on For Friends and Family Members. You can also request one to be emailed or mailed to you by contacting Katie or Michelle in Special Programs.  

Remember, caregivers need care too. Respite care is a great way to take care of you!

Thoughts from Care Partners

“Each loved one's progression and journey are different, and we as caregivers have to change the way we approach everything with our loved one as our loved one is unable to learn or retain most new things. A soft touch, holding hands or giving hugs makes them feel more secure and loved, of course. You as the caregiver are their safe and familiar face, and they depend on you for everything.” - BS

“That group [Meadowlark Memory Care Partner Support Group] has been a great benefit to me, both mentally and physically. The people in that group have or are now experiencing what it is like to be a caregiver for a loved one. I have gained knowledge and comfort in knowing that I am NOT alone in this ongoing part of our lives. What is so important is that we all listen to the reports by the group of their own battle every day with issues we never thought we would have to face and on a daily basis. More and more people who care about their loved ones are adding to our numbers each week. I can tell my friends and others about my particular encounters, but no person listens and understands my problems more than our Support Group. The internal suggestions by our group is just what I need to better equip me, with a better knowledge on how to better care for my loved one.” - DB

“Being a care partner is giving your whole self to your loved one. It’s a journey requiring more than just patience and love. The journey you share with your loved one is scary, sad, funny, confusing, complicated, simple, fragile, and so much more. It’s a daily process of learning and listening, loving. Remembering, they can’t help it.” - ML